Health Care Observations

The republicans generally say that the private sector out performs the public sector and puts it to shame. For example conservatives are more likely to support school vouchers. However they say that the democrats' health care plans shouldn't be passed because a "public option" would be terrible because it would "destroy" the private insurance sector, interestingly they would talk about inefficiencies at the dmv when this stuff was getting started.

Harry Reid recently said that there would likely be health care vote on the upcoming Saturday, a few weeks earlier there already was a likely vote on health care on saturday.

Health care reform is to hard to pay attention to because sometimes there is a public option, sometimes there isn't, and sometimes it's an optional public option.

You've probably heard about this but some people have been seen holding up signs that say "keep the government out of my medicare."

RS

Bias?

In December of 2004 a list was compiled of the 500 best songs, number 1 was Like a Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan, number 2 was Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones, the list was put together by Rolling Stone Magazine.

Irony?

In March of 2004 Rolling Stone magazine compiled a list of the 100 best artists in a list titled The Immortals. Number 70 was The Police and it was presented to them by Brandon Flowers, lead singer of The Killers.

Great Gatsby Panel

Lemony Snicket: Good afternoon, today we will discusing The Great Gatsby and the American Dream, our panel today consists of Republican Vice-Presidential Candidate, Sarah Palin, video game character, Link, and Facebook Friend, My name is Lemony Snicket and I will be your host today.

Lemony Snicket: For those of you who are listening let me warn you that this is the most terrible radio program on the air and if you listen you will be totally miserable. With all do respect Lemony Snicket.

Lemony Snicket: For Beatrice, how I hope to never explain who you are.

Lemony Snicket: First of all, what is the Admirable American Dream.

Link: A boy can leave his unsupervised home, earn bragging rights by figuring out every annoying side-quest, (which is debatably very awesome or very pathetic) and make a living by finding a place with reproductive pots, so that he'll be so rich that he doesn't enjoy finding large amounts of money anymore.

Sarah Palin: A person can leave there home an by hard work they can become more than a hockey-mom, but also have so many houses that they can't even count them all.

Facebook Friend: thinks the american dream is that a man can build a successful farm and bother his friends to become farm neighbors and send them gifts that not all of them care about.

Lemony Snicket: Facebook Friend explain the Rational Reason for a Fair Farm.

Facebook Friend: wants the audience to know that it's a game we play on Facebook. One of the ways that it ties in with the american dream is that we all hope is that our farmer will be prosperous enough to purchase a computer make a Facebook account of his own and that he himself can play farmville.

Lemony Snicket: You mean to tell me that there are Virtual Fun Doings within Virtual Fun Doings, an expression which here means a virtual life within  virtual life.

Facebook Friend: says yes, this is what Dwight was getting at in that office episode where he was telling the audience about his flying salesman who played a virtual life game.

Lemony Snicket: What should people do when they are discouraged.

Link: Grunt, pause, and look at the Internet.

Facebook Friend: Only 3 more days.

Lemony Snicket: Until what?

Link: Heuh.

Sarah Palin: Until' whatcha?

Lemony Snicket: What is meant by the Brilliant Billboard over the Valley of Fine Dirt and expression which here means The Valley of Ashes.

Facebook Friend: doesn't know what the english reading is, someone tell him.

Lemony Snicket: In case you have ever wondered[Link held down the "b" button to skip this section of the transcript because Mr. Snicket just stalls by describing an obscure scenario or state of mind instead of moving the plot forward]

Sarah Palin: I can see the green light from Gatsby's house.

Facebook Friend: kik.

Link: Tee hee hee.

Lemony Snicket: Now let's take a question form the Adorable Audience.

Caller: For Facebook Friend; what are the first three chapters about, and why do you keep talking in third person.

Facebook Friend: blames it on the new facebook format.

Facebook Friend: thinks that the third capter is about Nick recieving an invitation to Gatsby's parties and how nobody there cares who Gatsby is.

Facebook Friend: thinks that first chapter has Nick introducing himself and talking about a lesson he learned from his dad.

F Scott Fitzgerald, Zelda Fitzgerald, and someone you don't even know are now friends with Facebook Friend.

Facebook Friend: says that the second chapter introduces the Valley of Ashes.

Nick Carroway, Jordan Baker, and three friends are attending Gatsby's party.

Lemony Snicket: Why is it that your responses are all of the sudden out of order and about things we don't care about, wouldn't it make more sense to put that stuff in a Cute Column on the right. 

Lemony Snicket: I'm having a hard time putting together Facebook Friend's Curious Chronology.

Link: You think his is hard to figure out. Try solving mine, it starts out with Farore, Din, and Nayru creating Hyrule and later selecting seven sages including including Rauru, and then it gets really complex.

Sarah Palin: Wow, and I thought my kids had clever names.

Lemony Snicket: I now have some questions  for Sarah Palin that the audience sent through Entertaining E-mail, give me a just a second, it's difficult to turn through these pages because they're not all the same size, you could massage yourself on it as I have done on many unfortunate occasions.

Lemony Snicket: What is the difference between East Egg and West Egg?

Sarah Palin: Lipstick, with a bridge to nowhere in between them.

Lemony Snicket: To my dear kind editor the next literature radio panel will be about The Crucible, you are my last hope that the tales of Salem Massachusetts may be told to the general public even though I will tell people not to read them, with all due respect Lemony Snicket.

Interesting Fact: Shigeru Miyamoto has said that the Legend of Zelda games (where Link comes from) were named after Zelda Fitzgerald.

The inconsistency of men women jokes

A husband's perspective of his wife.

Someone who spends too much money on stupid stuff.

Example: A man says, "my wife's credit card was stolen." His friend says, "that's terrible." The man says, "not really, whatever stole it is spending less money than she was."

A son's perspective of his mom.

Someone who doesn't spend nearly as much money as his dad on stupid stuff, particularly fast food.

Example: A Simpsons episode where Bart asks Marge if they can buy a pretzel and she says, "we have pretzels at home."

Ten Things Readers Digest Won't Tell You

1 The table of contents is out of order.

2 The cardboard like pages make it harder to turn through the pages.

3 The bar code often covers parts of the pictures on the front covers but not the advertisements on the back.

4 Sometimes you'll see the answers to the puzzle before you see the puzzle.

5 To cut out the coupons you often have to cut up the last laugh page.

6 The Dec 2009 and the Jan 2010 issue are both the same.

7 The funny quotes are in bold text and the people who thought of them are in small text.

8 Every issue asks you to renew your subscription.

9 The content is frequently interrupted by boring advertisements.

10 We went bankrupt.

Some lightbulb jokes v

How many Microsoft Word programs does it to screw in a lightbulb.

Fragment (consider revising)

How many annoying figure out how this game works games does it take to screw in a lightbulb.

It was the number of fingers I was showing.

How many pokemon does it take to screw in a lightbulb.

The number goes up by about 100 every few years, each time there's less interest.

How many senators or congressmen does it take to screw in a lgithbulb.

Nancy Pelosi has her number, Harry Reid has his, The republicans are supposed to come up with one but they'd rather just oppose the democrats' number, it'll take 60 to prevent a filibuster because the founding fathers believed that a majority shouldn't be enough to screw in a lightbulb. There are actually many different plans on how to screw in a lightbulb even though you often hear about people criticizing the president's plan as if there were only one plan. But no matter how complicated the answer is, some committee (not the senate itselft, just some committee, although if you thought they meant the senate as a whole I don't blame you) will likely have some sort of precursor vote by the end of next week. They were hoping it would be screwed in by August but in retrospective it's kind of funny that we thought that might happen.

Things blogspot underlines in red. (I would know)

blogspot (Ironic)

Barack Obama (George W. Bush is underlined in green)*

facebook (All three of these are underlined in red on facebook as well)

*Barack Obama is the only one not highlighted in yellow if you click the Check Spelling button.