Things I get mixed up iv

Paris Hilton and Perez Hilton

Tetris and Tetnus

911 and 991

Yams and Sweet Potatoes

Lies you've been told

• Fires are red
• Flowers smell good
• You'll use cursive on a regular basis when you're in high schoool
• Late work is virtually unheard of in high school

Life is like...

A Computer: It gets really slow before it dies.

Ordering milkshakes: you never know how big it's gonna be.

Textbook example jokes

• "You might have a real future in flipping hamburgers."
• "I want to work for FOX news because it's fair and balanced." [BOATS]
• "You have so many eggs; that's capitalism." [BOATS]
• "Video games are a great way to experience the outdoors."
• "If you want to be more comfortable use ear bud headphones."
• It's intelligent to say that parents have no idea what it's like o be a teenager. [BOATS]
• "Fruitloops really are part of a healthy breakfast.
• "I never considered myself a maverick." [BOATS]

From now on the acronym BOATS will be theearthblog jargon for Based on a true story. Remember, you saw it here first.

The ABC's of annoying phrases.

An error has occurred.

Be the best you can be.

Can I go to the bathroom and not be late?

Did we do anything when I was gone.

Even though ______ does ______ when they hear us say it, this is car talk.

FML

Gosh

How do you know

I Don't know. Can you go to the bathroom?

Just kidding.

Kidding

Live together die alone.

McDonalds! McDonalds! McDonalds!

Never mind.

Oh my *

Proof is left the the reader as an exercise.

Quite unfortunate. Sorry

Redo

Syntax error.

That's what she said.

Uhhhh.

Very, very, very...

Wow, I'm actually on time today?

XYZ

Your mom...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

BSA announces new Merit Badge

On Tuesday a spokesperson for the Boy Scouts of America announced that they would be creating Merit Badge required for the rank of Eagle Scout.

The name of the new badge is Knot UNtying. According the BSA spokesperson the reason for creating this Merit Badge is to "have boys do something that is challenging and practical."

Requirements for the badge include.

• Untangle a bundle of Christmas Lights.
• Explain to your Merit Badge counselor when you should just give up on untying a knot and just go buy some new rope.
• Show your badge counselor how to untie a square knot.

Defining Moments

When you eat your first complete Costoco muffin.

When you realize that you can't get into Princess Peach's castle on Mario Kart.

Reading a book in a day.

Getting a perfect score on a test.

Driving stick shift.

When you discover that there is so much more to fast food, even burger fast food, than just McDonald's.

When you figure out that Thanksgiving is always on a Thursday.

A Haiku of the Boy Scout Klondike

Go to your bed soon.

Then after a few snow games.

Go to your home soon.