The Smith Institute

The Smith Institute is a private institution in New York that helps kids that are distraught with A-'s and other cases of near perfection. Jonathan Smith said "these aren't bad kids, they've just been having a rough time, they've had to deal with 9/10s or 35's or 2nd places." 

Bob Bobward, a valedictorian front runner at Lincoln high school said, "in July College Board sent me a letter saying I only got a 4 out of 5 on the A.P. Rocket Science test, it was a nightmare, I put commas in the wrong places, I kept forgetting the table of elements, I even lost interest in pi. The Smith institute was very helpful, they helped me realize that I can be a great person in this world, even if I can't take all 36 A.P. tests."

The vision of the Smith Institution is to help kids reach 94% of their potential, not 93%.

Can you help me?

My name is princess Mariam, I'm a 20 year old girl from; you guessed Ghana, I am in desperate need of your help.
            In 2003 my parents, both Nigerian royalty and wealthy businessmen were both killed by, you guessed it; unknown assassins in the middle east.
            I need your help in retrieving their 6,000,000$ bank account so that I can continue my education, I am willing to share the profits with you 50/50.

You are also a winner, you have won the UK Yahoo MSN lottery, and you didn't even enter it. According to statisticians the chances of this happening are zero.

Forward this to 15 of your friends in the next 15 minutes, I need their help to, if you don't you will have bad luck.

High School

A teacher is giving a formal address to some students at Lincoln High school pertaining to Lincoln High School.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to this presentation on Lincoln High School. I wanted to have this presentation in the library but the entire library was closed for a small extra curricular activity and there was no warning."

"Here at Lincoln High School your will find a new meaning of school, a new meaning of learning, a new meaning of room temperature."

"One thing we take pride in at Lincoln High school is our atrium, it's only open for three days a year but we all love that dead bird."

"Shakespeare has said, "what's in a name," Here at Lincoln High school that's a very good question because during election season the spelling of your name is often the only thing people vote on. We also have freshman elections at the beginning of the year, we have found that it's most effective to have these freshman elections in the commons, because it's the only room most of them can find."

"We also take pride in our outstanding football team, last year they were the intergalactic champions, or something like that, to be honest with you I've lost interest. Other sports we are known for are basketball, soccer, volleyball, and walking up that one staircase."

"You will find all sorts of marv-" 

[the intercom comes on interrupts towards the end of class and the office lady says, "teachers and student's, we apologize for this interruption but we must tell you ounce again that tomorrow is a late start."]

"marvelous thing things here at Lincoln High, and every week here is a holiday, if you don't believe me look at the marquee, And even though I gave you a lot of homework, have a good weekend."

[The bell rings]

[A few seconds later the intercom come on and the office lady says "teachers and student's, we must tell you ounce again that tomorrow is a late start."]

Sorry kids, we have to go now, you know what they say...

Time flies when your unconscious.

The Obama agenda

After recently appointing Governor John Huntsman (R-UT) to China, Obama will appoint

Sarah Palin (R-AK) to Russia,

Bobby Jindal (R-LA) to India,

Newt Gingrich (R-GA) to Georgia

When a reporter pointed out that the three of these are all popular candidates for 2012 and none of them are fit for these positions, a spokesperson for the white house said "He's not trying to give himself any political advantage in 2012, it's only for bipartisanship, and he's a model of why you only need a couple years of experience for an important office."

Air

You appreciate it less when you don't have it.

Some good advice.

Listen to your heart, if it stops beating, you've made some wrong decisions.

Metaphor Poem

I will freeze you until I burn you.

            You treat me as I tell you to and when you think I am ready to satisfy you I will give you my cold center which will gag you.

            If you try to cure me of my cold center I will burn you and then you will leave me alone.

            I am a microwave Burrito.

William Shakespeare, "Twelfth Night"

Be not afraid of greatness: some people* are born great, some achieve greatness [any real musicians] and some have greatness thrust upon them. [Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers. [they're not that great, disney hypnotized people into thinking they're great]]

* originally "men"